To Love, or Not to Love, That is The Question…

Grown-ups have a great many things they like to grumble about. The traffic, the weather, loud noises, unnecessary expenses, the neighbours’ kids…the list is endless. The constant source of worry for an average parent is meeting the exorbitant expenses of their spoilt brat, so it is only natural that they fuss over money all the time. Or rather,  the lack of it. Let them have this one.

What amuses me is this. Students, whose only worry should be getting good quality education, or in the case of some, scraping up the pass marks, worry relentlessly around this time of year.

And no, it’s not the finals that have them ripping their hair out in frustration. It’s not the dreaded university exams that have them up all night worrying, running through endless flasks of coffee. It is the stress associated with the D-day; Valentines ‘day. The pressure of coming up with a suitable way to impress the guy/girl they had proclaimed their love for is high. And for those guys yet unfortunate in love, it is the once-a-year chance to impress the girl that they have been crushing on since forever, but lacked the guts to ask out.

The guys groan in unison over the sudden hole in their wallet as they fall over themselves to splurge on unnecessary extravaganzas to impress their lady-love. They seem to be under the impression that the love they receive is directly proportional to the amount of money they are willing to lavish on their girl, which is quite sad. It is fantastic that guys are so eager to spend their last dime on girls who would ditch them in the blink of an eye for a bigger box of chocolates or a fluffier teddy bear. They willingly enter a territory unfamiliar to their testosterone- driven world and are seen trying to shop for clothes, jewellery and overpriced makeup, looking like lost puppies in a thunderstorm. Which I guess is a little sweet on some level, considering that these guys can’t tell mascara and eyeliner apart for all the tea in China.

The girls whine and fuss over how best to display their love for their valentine and spend days scourging the malls for the perfect perfume or the right pair of boots. They then spend hours on the phone giggling over how perfect they want the day to be and even more hours at the spa pruning and scrubbing and getting waxed in order to look just right for the “very-surprise-date that he has planned”. Which is obviously not much of a surprise if you started shopping for dresses for date-night like a month ago.

It’s bad enough that there is this day that is chockfull of expectations that one is expected to oblige. Then there’s the added burden of trying to pick out a suitable gift. We give up a fat wad of cash to purchase things that add a dash of glamour to one lousy day and then then gather dust in a corner; things that bring us no lasting joy and are perfectly worthless after 24 short hours. If you want to make a present of something, might as well make it useful. Because let’s face it, big fat teddy bears do nothing except sit at the foot of your bed with intensely creepy stares in the half-light. A new pair of shoelaces would be so much more productive. Chances are, it’ll make her think of you at least when she jogs.

What makes it worse is that there’s a whole week leading up to it, each day named after another large denomination of your years’ worth of pocket money. And anyway, why do we wait for Rose Day to give a rose to show someone we care about? Why not surprise your loved one with a rose when the fancy strikes? Or share a huge box of chocolaty satisfaction with the person you love spending time with?

Now, I have nothing against Valentines’ Day. Romance, bring it on! I’m all for it, as long as it is the real deal. It’s completely okay to go overboard for a person who you sincerely believe is the right one for you. But that’s where most of us go wrong. We never seem to be able to distinguish between true love and puppy love.

I believe that for those in love, every day is a celebration of their togetherness. It needn’t be limited to once in every 365 days. And it mustn’t be adorned with price tags.

Cuddly toys are not what define your love. Chocolates are not what symbolises that special feeling only your significant other can give you. It’s not laminated cards with glitter on them that should speak of your affection for one another. It’s your thoughts, words and deeds. If you truly love a person, treat them with respect, accept them as equals and show them how much they mean to you through your actions.

You don’t come across true love in the vegetable isle, so you might as well hold on to it, if you are lucky enough to have found it.

As for those still scrambling to find a date to celebrate V-Day with, here’s a suggestion. Valentines ‘day need not be spent with lovers alone. It is celebrated to honour a martyr, not a couple of star-struck lovers. It represents not just love, but sacrifice. So why not make it special for those people who have sacrificed countless comforts in order to ensure your happiness? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you dropped by to see your grandparents on February 14^th, armed with your grandpas’ favourite box of chocolates and a big bouquet of those yellow roses that your grandma absolutely adores? Think of the joy you would give them, those dear old souls who have loved you since the day you were born. Or take some time off your ‘busy schedule’ to tell your parents that you love them, let them know you appreciate everything they’re doing for you. Get your baby brother or sister a toy that they have been craving, treat them to an outing and as much ice-cream as their little tummies can hold.

It’s always better to wait for love to come to you, rather than chasing after empty promises of love.